Back at it!!!

I'm back... it's been a LONG time - but I'm not starting over this time. I'm leaving up my previous posts - one's full of hope, strength, will-power... all that goes along with beginning this weight-loss journey. Except, I'm not just beginning. I've been at this a long time. When will I just 'get it'? When will I finish this journey once and for all? Or is that the point - this really has no beginning and no end? Truly make this a lifestyle and live the life of a weightwatcher will ya!?!

I want to rid my weight loss vocabulary of the word 'try' and just 'do'. I am going to lose this weight once and for all. I am going to be nicer to myself - stop the negative thoughts, stop beating myself up for not being perfect, stop myself from giving up!

-S

Weird day...

The day started off SCARY!  I was having a great sleep (something I often struggle to do!)  I woke to my buzzer.  Scared the life out of me - wasn't sure what time it was, what day it was, even where I was!  I opened my eyes to see that it was 8:20am.  I need to be at work by 8:30 at the very latest!!!  I rushed to answer my buzzer (delivery from Canada Post), put a robe on, ran back to the door to meet my parcel, called work to say I just woke up and may be late...  all in under 30 seconds flat!  I got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth, made a lunch, scraped and sweeped the snow and ice off my car, drove to work, walked up the many stairs to the office to announce my presence - by 8:35!!!  Couldn't believe it myself!  15 minutes from sound asleep to work!  

The day was good until I went out for yard duty and fell.  Pulled something in my calf, pulled my upper thigh and twisted my ankle.  The student that I had walking with me for 'hands on' behaviour laughed his head off!  Totally embarrassed!!!  Went on with my day - a bit stiff right now but I'll be okay!

Was looking forward to dinner out with my mom - but the roads were terrible coming home.  Black ice everywhere - almost got into two accidents on the 2km drive home.  Almost ordered pizza for dinner - but thought hard about saving money and saving points - decided not to :)  Had spaghetti dinner at home by myself instead.  Much more points and wallet friendly!  

An okay day eating wise.  4 points for breakfast (steel cut oats with cinnamon and brown sugar), half a banana on my crazy lunch duty...  definitely not enough points to start my day.  Had a big plate of pasta with meat sauce for dinner and some Halloween treats for dessert.  About to enjoy a decaf Candy Cane Lane green tea before heading to bed.  

Overboard?

Great day eating wise all day...  until the dreaded first dinner out!  Did okay for not being able to choose my dinner (it was a sit down - served retirement dinner).  Went overboard with the bread though.  I was starving and fresh bread with butter is a real downfall of mine.  Note to self - keep bread baskets off the table in the future (or at least away from me).  Cleaned my plate (chicken some kind of cream based sauce), 4 small - very delicious roasted potatoes and mixed veggies.  There were also 2 buns with butter (one before and one with dinner).  Desert was a small piece of cake with vanilla ice cream.  

Not the best choices during dinner - but that's life (especially during the holidays).  Small indulgences which may lead to a slower weight loss.  I'm going to dust myself off and start fresh again tomorrow.  No more all or nothing attitude for me!  I will do this - once and for all!!!

Is it all in my head?

So...  I've been following the WW program for 2 days now.  2.  And I'm soooooo hungry all the time!  Why is it that when I decide to get on track, I feel so hungry?  Is it that I'm constantly thinking of food - and the hunger follows?  All I know is that it's annoying!  The physical burning and churning of my stomach - sucks!

I am determined though.  I will do this once and for all!  

On a positive note - went to Zumba last night.  What a blast!  The instructor actually turned the lights off and had a disco ball going.  It was wonderful to get my groove on and not be seen by anyone around me (let alone see myself in the full length mirrors that cover the walls!)  Will have to get some friends to join me :)

Two full days on program!  Yay me!!!

Crazy!?!

So...  am I crazy to restart this weight loss thing in the midst of the holiday season?  Hmm...  I think I am a little crazy - but hopeful that the motivation I feel right now to get this weight off, will guide me through the holidays.  Report cards are finally done - handed in to be checked out by my principal.  Now I really don't have any reason to not succeed!  

I've been hungry ALL DAY!!!  Crazy hungry...  think I need more protein in the morning to get me through the day.  I did it though.  I stayed on program.   Just finished dinner and am trying to talk myself into hitting up Zumba at 6:30.  I will do this!  To quote a reader of Angie's blog...  Discipline Before Desire!  That's my new motto for this journey I'm on :)